Ratlings
by polka-dotted-daisies
Summary: um... well a summary would give the entire story away, so I'm just going to say it's the second, sort of third part in the rat series...
1. Chapter 1

**Ratlings?**

_Disclaimer: Would you believe me if I told you I own House? No, didn't think so…_

_A/N: Very quick oneshot sequel to 'The Luxurious Life of the Rat'. All three in the rat-related series- I wasn't planning to make it a series, but with three stories it sort of is- are written with a House-Cameron ship. DO NOT read if you don't like this ship. AYNTK: House and Cameron are married, they have two rats: Steve McQueen and Barbara Minty. It's very annoying- I can't call them House and Cameron anymore lol.

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They had been married for nearly six months now, and so had Steve and Minty. Most of Gregory's friends thought it was silly; marrying off his pets. Allison's just thought it was cute… except that said pets were rats. Julie hated the rats. She didn't understand why Allison loved them like they were her children.

"They're gross" she had told Allison

"That's what I said. But then I lived with them… something changed. I changed"

"People don't change, Allison, you said that yourself"

"People don't change, circumstances change. The circumstances changed, allowing my opinions to change" Julie hadn't understood this logic, so she had just nodded.

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Greg watched the rats with fascination. Steve now stayed up late with Minty to watch her soaps, and, for about a week, Steve had slept on the couch. He laughed at this, wondering what had made Minty mad. This was his favorite time of day. He had the chance to examine the rats before work; he and Allison had agreed that she could go early in the car, and he would take his bike when he was ready to leave. It functioned much better then the Allison-yells-at-Greg-until-he-finally-gets-in-the-car system.

"Goodbye, Steve. Goodbye Minty. I will see you soon." The rats looked at him and he turned, walked out the door, and shut it behind him.

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"You're late" Allison greeted her husband at the main door.

"Hello dear to you too"

"I told you last night. You need to at least finish your clinic hours by lunch because Minty needs to go to the vet. _You_ have to take her because _I_ have a meeting. Go" she shooed him away, keeping her eyes glued to a file. He grumbled something incomprehensible as he limped steadily towards the clinic.

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"Symptoms: unusual eating habits,-" Greg began writing on the whiteboard. Allison emerged in the doorway.

"Greg! What are you doing here?"

"We have a new patient"

"What about Minty? You were supposed to be at the vet half an hour ago!"

"Relax. I've got it covered. Chase;" he wrote 'rapid weight gain' under 'unusual eating habits'. "What causes both these symptoms?"

"A lot of things… pregnancy?" the Aussie responded

"Bingo!"

Foreman spoke up: "why is this interesting? Why is such a simple thing a part of your complex puzzle?"

"Because,"-he turned to Allison-"we are pregnant"

"_What?_" if she had yelled any louder, China would have heard. Just like when they had announced that they were together, the other duckling's jaws landed on the floor. Greg walked (as best he could) over to his wife and whispered in her ear

"Relax. We're having ratlings"

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_A/N: Now I need names for the ratlings. Any suggestions? _


	2. The Birth of the Ratlings &abm

_A/N: I know I said it would be a oneshot, but instead of another sequel, I decided to just continue here. I don't know at what stage you can determine the gender of a rat, so I just assumed. I hope you like it! Thanks for all the suggestions and for the reproducing tip (although I don't think Minty or the ratlings will have another litter… yet, anyway) This one isn't as focused on the rats as much as it is a new character because she needed time to be introduced. Please Enjoy!_

**CHAPTER 2- The Birth of the Ratlings… and a bit more**

"So you took her to the vet?" Allison asked when they got home.

"Uh… no"

"Greg! We still have to pay for that!"

"No, _you_ do. Remember? Steve is mine, and Minty is yours. So I can see why you're mad. But why should I take her to the vet when I have a team of diagnosticians to figure out what's wrong with her?"

"Because she's a rat, and Dr. Kinsley just wanted a check up. I booked that appointment days ago! And since you didn't go, you are paying for it. I don't care whether she's mine or not; I asked you to go and you didn't."

"But this was so much more fun" he whined. Allison just rolled her eyes and went over to the cage.

"Hey sweetie! You're gonna be a mom! Isn't that exciting?" she sighed, apparently oblivious to the fact that her husband was still standing there, watching her, since her next comment was: "I wish I could be a mom…" Minty moved from her usual place (the couch), and came to the edge of the cage. Allison let opened the door and took the rat out. Steve ran to the door just as she was closing it, and then poked his nose through the bars. She laughed. "Greg will play with you later, Steve" She had wanted to call him 'Spoiled Steve', but the pathetic look in his eyes forced her not to. She stood up, rat in hand, and turned around. Startled, she jumped, protecting Minty with her other hand.

"Ohmigod! Greg- I forgot you were there! Make noise next time. Hit the ground with your cane or something" He smiled, but said nothing. He slowly headed for the cage and took out Steve.

"Ha ha! You, my man, are going to be a dad! Isn't that sweet!" he gave the rat a high five by lifting Steve's paw to his finger. "You know, if you get past all that 'love' and 'nurturing'" Greg sat beside Allison, who had moved to the couch, and the two held the rats in silence for a few minutes. If this were a Sci-Fi movie, you would have thought that they were communicating telepathically.

"Allison- Can we talk?"

"Sure Greg" She turned to face her husband, putting her book down. "What's up?"

"What you said before, about wanting to be a mom…"

"You weren't supposed to hear that" she responded, looking down.

"Allison look at me" She did. "I'm glad you said it" His wife smiled weakly -trying to determine if that meant he wanted kids, or he was glad he knew her opinion on the matter -as Greg gently kissed her forehead and returned to watching his soaps.

Weeks came and went, and Minty got fatter each day. Steve had been running in the wheel more often then usual, and Greg explained to Allison that he wanted to look his best for the kids. There was a pool between Allison, Julie, James, Greg and Cuddy as to how many kids the rat would have. In other words, none of them had anything better to do. Not nearly as many people were coming into the clinic, and Greg had chosen not to take any cases until the ratlings were born. Allison had bet four, Julie the same, James had bet two, Cuddy the same, and Greg, just to be different, chose three.

"Greg!" Allison yelled over the phone as soon as he answered "They're coming!"

"How much longer?"

"How fast does your bike go?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes"

"Hurry!"

There were three. Three ugly, little pink rats had won Greg House over two hundred dollars.

"We need names!" Greg shouted gleefully

"I think the parents should decide"

"Okay- Steve; how do you like Carmen?" The rat turned his head away, and Allison looked at Greg like he was nuts. "What?"

"No, we are not naming the rat after Carmen Elektra"

"Fine" he pouted. "Cheeko?" he looked at his wife first for approval

"I like it. Minty; do you?" Minty tossed her head up, and Allison took this as a yes. "Good. One down, two to go"

"I don't know… maybe we should wait. You know, like if we name one 'Spot', and it turns out it has no spots. That would suck"

"Okay. We'll wait. But which one's name is Cheeko?"

"That one" he pointed to one of the pink balls "He's cute"

"Greg- none of them are cute"

"Well he's the cutest"

"Whatever you say" Allison threw her hands up as if she were surrendering.

A few weeks passed, and the ratlings actually looked like rats now. They all had names. Cheeko was the smallest of the three, and was extremely attached to his father. The other two, Jamie and Minnie, were closer to their mother. Cheeko appeared to be the only boy.

"Steve! How could you let this happen? Now we're outnumbered!" Greg pretended to be mad at his rat, but Steve just turned his head and led Cheeko to the wheel (according to Greg this was 'male bonding').

Cuddy was surprised to see Greg in early for work. When she saw the cage on his desk, however, any good feelings she had had about him disappeared. He brought the rats to work?

"House! What are they- oh my God. Oh. My. God. Why is the cage empty?" she demanded hysterically.

"Oh, well Steve and I thought the ratlings should get to know the hospital, so he and Cheeko are around here somewhere." He looked around his desk calmly.

"House! Find them and put them back in their cage!"

"Relax, Cuddy." He pulled out two leashes from under his desk. "They're right here. I should do this more often; your reaction is priceless" Cuddy calmed down for a moment then yelled at Greg to put them back in the cage. He made a face and put the rodents back. Steve squeaked in protest. Cheeko followed his father's lead, although he seemed unaware what it was exactly that he was squeaking at.

"Sorry, dude. She signs my paychecks- gotta do what she says sometimes or she won't sign 'um, and mommy will be mad" he didn't notice Allison emerge in the doorway until she spoke

"What have you done now?" she asked, laughing

"Oh hey Allison- I thought Cheeko needed a tour of the hospital, but Cuddy wouldn't even let me take them on their leashes"

"Did you really think she would?"

"They could be like those dogs, you know, the ones that go around to rooms and comfort the dieing people"

"Except they would probably scare the people into dieing" she reasoned. He stuck his tongue out at her and she came over to him and sat on his knee. She cooed at the rats for a minute before giving him a quick kiss and telling him she would be in the clinic if he needed her.

Allison was examining a little girl in the clinic when Greg walked in.

"Who are you?" the little girl asked him in a somewhat snobby tone.

"I, little brat, am Dr. Gregory House"

"She is not a brat!" the little girl's mother yelled. Allison looked at him almost pleadingly. Then the little girl screamed and tucked her knees to her chest.

"What's wrong?" Allison immediately attended to her. The girl pointed at the floor, shaking. Greg held two leashes, and attached to those leashes were two rats. "You brought them _here_?"

"Steve wanted to see mommy" he explained in a baby voice

"Greg, get them out of here! I love them, but I agree with Cuddy; they can't be roaming around the hospital" Greg pouted -and it seemed as though the rats were too- as he led them out of the exam room.

"Who was that?" the mother asked after he had left. Allison laughed

"Gregory House. He's a great doctor but he can be a bit childish at times"

"You two are close?" she asked, probably because she had called him by his first name, and the fact that the rats were apparently hers as well.

"I hope so; we're married" Allison laughed, and the woman looked shocked, although Allison couldn't seem to figure out why.

When she came home, she greeted the rats as she always did, naming each and cooing at them for some time before turning on her laptop for research (or IMing her friends, whichever was more convenient). Today, however, her daily ritual was interrupted by the telephone.

"Allison House" a rush of excitement still rang through her when she said that.

"Oh, um… I'm going to assume you are Allison Cameron, then?"

"I was. I got married. Who is this?"

"I am afraid that I have some rather unfortunate news" there was a long pause and Allison had to insist he carry on. "Your sister, Laura, she has been in a terrible accident"

"Oh my God! Is she okay? Of course she isn't… If she was I wouldn't have received a phone call. What's happened?"

"She, err, didn't make it"

"And Emily?" she demanded, in a panic

"She is fine. That's why I'm calling. Laura had asked that in the event of her death, Emily would be turned over to you" Allison was speechless. Her sister had been a single mother, and her brother, although he lived closer, could _not_ be trusted with anyone under the age of twenty-one.

"Who- Who am I talking to?"

"Alexander Rose. I- I- Your mother and I are involved"

"Oh" she responded coldly

Greg got home a little after Allison had received the phone call due to a short stop at Wilson's. She was crying when he stepped through the door.

"The only thing missing are the centrifuges. What's up?"

"Now is not the time to joke, Greg" she snapped

"What's up?"

"My sister… well, she passed away"

"Did she come to the wedding?"

"No- none of my family did, Greg. They're all still mad at me for marrying when I knew it wouldn't last…" he put his arm around her. "You… uh… like kids, right?"

"Not the ones ion the clinic; and I don't know any others"

"What about that girl with cancer? You liked her" he shrugged, but she knew what he really meant.

"Why? You aren't pregnant, are you?" Allison couldn't tell what emotion was behind this statement

"No... My sister had a little girl. She's seven now…"

"And you got custody. Cool! We get to skip the diaper stage. Saves tones of money, you know" she laughed

"So you want this? I mean, I can always say no; but then she'd be put in a foster home and-"

"I want her"

Allison played with Minty's tail. She had insisted on bringing the rat to Julie's for 'girl's night'.

"So Greg and I are getting a baby"

"You're pregnant?" Julie squealed

"Unfortunately, no" she replied, smiling "and she isn't exactly a baby either" Minty looked up at Allison curiously

Greg opened the door nearly a week later to a small girl wearing a opened the door nearly a week later to a small girl wearing a French beret and a short brown skirt.

"You're Emily?" Greg asked, and the girl nodded. "Where's the social worker?"

"Ou est tante Allison?" Emily spoke in a thick French accent

"Allison! Freaky child speaking in tongues!" he whined loudly, and she came rushing

"Emily!" Allison ran to the door holding a dish cloth (apparently she was doing the dishes although Greg didn't remember this happening before the doorbell).

"Salut Allison!"

"Bonjour Emmy!" She hugged the girl and her beret fell to the floor

"Allison" Emily whined and picked up the hat.

"Sorry, dear, speak in English, 'kay? Greg here doesn't know French"

"Oh. Sorry Greg. Ally, who's Greg?" her accent morphed into what House would have called 'perfect American'

"Greg is my husband. Say hello to Greg, Emmy"

"Hello to Greg Emmy"

"Emily" Allison warned. Greg was surprised at how motherly she suddenly seemed

"Sorry auntie Allison. Hello Greg, nice to meet you" she stuck out her hand and he accepted it, still looking at her strangely

Emily Cameron had been enrolled in a French emersion private school. She was six years old, but very outgoing and everyone thought she was eight. She adored the rats from the moment she saw them and immediately chose Minnie as her own.

"Emmy- tell Greg what you want to do when you're older"

"I'm going to be an actress or a navy commander"

"Really?" Greg asked

"Yes" she attempted to roll her eyes, but hadn't mastered that skill yet. She continued matter-of-factly "And I am not three, so you don't need to talk to me like I am. I am practically grown up already. I finished first grade"

"But you're only six. That's" he counted his fingers "only kindergarten"

"Greg, she skipped a grade. Her mother taught her during the summer last year and she learned so much they put her in a higher grade" Allison informed him. Emily put on a huge smile and spontaneously hugged Greg. He patted her back and gave Allison a 'what-do-I-do-with-this' look.

"Are you going to be my new daddy, Uncle Greg?"

"Well I'm not trying to replace your old daddy. I'm just trying to-"

"I don't want you to be like my old daddy. He hit mommy a lot and he used beer-flavored toothpaste. So mommy got a judge to tell him not to come near her anymore" Greg was concerned so he wrapped his arms around her.

"He didn't hit _you_, did he?"

"No. But mommy said that he might, and that's why she got the restraining order" she said the last bit proudly, and Greg guessed that was because it was a complicated word for her. He dropped the subject by confirming that he would be her new dad and that he wouldn't hurt her or Allison.

Greg opened the door in Emily's room in the morning and called "Attention on deck!" Emmy snapped straight and faced him. It was a game he played with her; she called it 'career training'. "Does Commander Emily want to come with us to work today?" she nodded stiffly.

"Yes, sir! I would like that very much, sir. And I am not a Commander, sir. That takes lots of time and practice. You can call me Ensign, I guess."

"Okay, Ensign. Are you going to get out of your PJs and into your civilian clothes really fast Ensign Emily?"

"Yes, sir! Right away, sir!"

"Good." He softened his voice "breakfast is on the table Emmy." She saluted and he closed the door.

Greg came into sight as Emily was eating and she stood again.

"As you were" she sat and returned to her pancakes.

"Am I going to go to the hospital today?"

"Only if you promise to bother Dr. Cuddy. Oh! I have an idea!" he whispered something in her ear and a mischievous smile crossed her face.

A little girl waltzed into the clinic, her brown hair floating just inches from her back.

"I'm sick" she told the nurse.

"Then go sit down, dear, and a doctor will be with you in a minute"

"Thank you" she sat on the bench and waited for about five minutes before a nurse instructed her to meet Dr. What's-his-name in exam room one. She followed these instructions and sat on the exam table.

"You aren't Dr. Cuddy" she told the doctor.

"No, I'm not. Dr. Cuddy is busy at the moment, so I'm going to check you for her, okay?"

"Not okay. I need to see Dr. Cuddy. Only Dr. Cuddy can inspect me." And after much hassle lasting nearly an hour, Cuddy came into exam room one.

"So this is the little girl who caused me to come out of my important meeting"

"You weren't in a meeting"

"And how would you know?"

"I have people on the inside" she responded mysteriously

"Who?"

"I can't tell you that"

"Oh. Well what's your name, then?"

"Emily"

"Okay Emily what's wrong with you?"

"My tummy hurts" she whined "and my head hurts and it hurts right here" she poked a spot on her arm

"Well then…" Emily didn't listen to the rest of what Cuddy said. She had been instructed to tell Dr. Cuddy exactly what she had, and she had already been told what the response would be. "Emily? Emily, dear, do you understand?"

"Huh? Oh… well mostly. Is there any pills I can take for it? Never mind, I'll get those another time. What's your specialty as a doctor?"

"I run this hospital"

"Which one of the doctors is your favorite?"

"That's like asking which of my kids I like better"

"You don't have kids. Just say you can't choose. Which one do you hate the most?"

"Well the one that gives me the most trouble is Dr. House."

"You don't like Allison?" damn! She slipped.

"We call her Dr. Cameron because that was her name before she married the annoying Dr. House. Is she your inside contact?"

"No! You can't tell her I'm here!"

"Why not?" this wasn't going according to plan, but she could improvise.

"Because she doesn't know I'm sick, and I don't want her to. She'll get all mushy and bring me chicken soup or something. Or she'll sick her rats on me!"

"Yes… the rats… I don't like the rats"

"How long have they been in there?" Gregory giggled to the nurse

"Nearly a half hour"

"Only that long? I wonder how long Em can keep her there"

"You know that girl?"

"Uh-huh. She's my daughter. But if you say a word to anyone I will make your life here hell" he looked at her name tag "Dorothy" the poor nurse- terrified- nodded.

Around lunch time, Emily walked into Dr. House's office. She approached him silently and slipped onto his good knee. He jumped slightly as she did this and pulled out his headphones.

"Sorry daddy. It's just me"

"No problem. How'd you do? Was she pissed? You didn't tell her you knew me, did you?"

"Good, I don't know, and no. Except she knows I know Auntie Allison"

"You can call her mommy if you want to"

"Not now… she's always been Auntie Allison. Anyways, Dr. Cuddy is really fun to bug. Can I go to her office?"

"You are the perfect daughter"

"I know" she grinned, hugged him, and ran off to Cuddy's office.

She walked up to the office when a man stopped her.

"You can't go in there. Dr. Cuddy is busy"

"I heard about you! You're the macretary!"

"The what?"

"The macratary. You know, like a male secretary"

"I am not a secretary. I am a personal assistant"

"Yeah… that's just a fancy phrase for secretary. Look, I may be little, but I always get my way, so you are going to let me see Dr. Cuddy before I force you to."

"Little girl- the brain examiners are just down the hall. Maybe you should get one" she pushed the door open

"Grow up" she told him as she walked into Cuddy's office. Cuddy was sitting at her desk across from a woman with dark hair. She muttered something along the lines of 'how did she get past the guards?' before plastering on a smile.

"Hello, dear. What do you need?"

"Oh, nothing Dr. Cuddy. I just wanted to see you" Emily replied sweetly. She approached the doctor and sat on the windowsill behind her. "Who's this?"

"I'm Stacy Warner. It's nice to meet you" she paused and held out her hand, waiting for Emily to tell her her name. Emily didn't take the hand.

"Emily Cameron. I don't like you"

"Em, dear, you don't even know her. Wait- did you say your last name was Cameron?

"Well, sort of. But I _do_ know Stacy. I know all about her. She's the one that tried to hurt daddy" Emily whined. "Oops. I wasn't supposed to mention daddy"

"Who's your daddy, Emily?" Cuddy asked. Stacy was shocked. Who had she _tried_ to hurt?

"Well I guess you'll make the connection eventually. My last name is Cameron… err, was Cameron. My daddy was hurt by Stacy. Do the math"

"Are you House's daughter?"

"Yes"

"When was Cameron pregnant?" the little girl laughed

"Mommy wasn't pregnant. My real mommy was hit by a truck so I'm staying with Auntie Allison… but uncle Greg said I can call her mommy and him daddy if I want to."

"Oh" Cuddy's reaction to her statement was exactly what Emily wanted. Although the statement was sad and true, Cuddy was sympathetic. Through sympathy, Emily could get whatever she wanted.

"Ensign Emily!"

"Yes, sir" she answered timidly from the doorway

"Did you or did you not tell Dr. Lisa Cuddy that you were my daughter?"

"I did, sir" he relaxed his tone and started whining

"Why? We were having so much fun"

"I slipped, sir. I didn't mean to, sir. But then I got her to feel sorry for me. Now she'll give me whatever I want"

"Good going, Em! Can you get her to give Chase my clinic hours?""

"Probably"

"You go girl!" he said (extremely girlishly) and gave her a high-five.

"I'll only ask her on one condition"

"What's that?"

"You _never_ say that again"

"Gregory" Allison said, looking up from her book.

"Uh-oh"

"What?"

"You never call me Gregory unless you're upset. What's wrong?"

"Are we good parents?"

"Of course! What makes you think we aren't?"

"Well, Cuddy talked to me today, and she said that Emily has been really depressed whenever she sees her… I think we rushed this on her"

"Oh, that" Greg laughed. "That's just her act"

"Her what?"

"She's manipulating Cuddy"

"_What? _Gregory House- you put her up to this? You're going to get her in trouble, or worse you'll make her bring up memories that she doesn't- I don't- want brought up!" Allison got out of the bed and paced back and forth, muttering to herself frantically

"Calm down Allison!"

"No! Don't tell me to calm down! She's your _daughter_ Greg, not your toy! How could you make her-"

"Allison!" Greg yelled in a tone that scared her. She instantly stropped pacing and looked at him, shocked.

"You-you've never-"

"Allison lie down. Now" she did as she was told.

"Mommy?" a small voice came from the door.

"It's okay, Emmy. Just go back to sleep, dear" Allison comforted her daughter, who, instead of heading to her room, came over and sat on the bed beside her parents.

"Mommy is daddy mad?"

"No sweetie; daddy is just a bit frustrated. It's like when you cant pass a level of your video game, you know how you get frustrated?"

"Yeah, but daddy sounds like old daddy… and it scares me" she whispered the last part in Allison's ear so that Greg wouldn't hear.

"Oh, baby" Allison hugged her little girl close to her and glared at Greg. He crossed his arms across his chest and pouted. Allison brought Emily back to her room and never came back.

Nearly an hour later, Greg limped over to Emily's room. He watched as Allison stroked the child's hair and slowly closed her eyes. There was no use trying to win this argument now; he would just have to figure something out in the morning.

"Morning, Greg. How'd you sleep?"

"Cold."

"I am not being cold! If you're going to start the morning off like that then…" when she didn't continue, Greg retorted,

"Then what, Allison? And I was saying that I was cold last night; as in 'you could have been there to keep me warm'. Where's Emily?"

"In her room" Allison responded, her tone guiltily softened. Greg moved over to her door and opened it.

"Em- wake up dear, it's time for breakfast"

"Where's mommy?"

"In the kitchen. You start school today- you don't want to be late, do you?"

"Don't see why not" she responded, smoothing the sheets on her bed. She moved gracefully to her closet and picked out dark blue jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt.

"Don't be late. Allison will get stressed if you are, and you know what she's like when she's stressed"

Greg closed the door and sat down to eat.

Allison kissed Emily's forehead softly before telling her to have a good first day. The girl smiled excitedly and nervously before running to class. She put her bag in a cubby labeled "Emily C" and took a seat.

"Okay class" the teacher addressed them as she came in the door. "We are going to welcome someone who wasn't with us last year- Emily Cameron" Emily stood

"Actually- It's House; Emily House. Cameron was my mother's name"

"Oh. Alright, then. Why don't you introduce yourself"

"Uh… okay. I'm Emily. Don't call me Emmy- only Allison and Greg can do that. I… have two rats and three ratlings. I came here because my mom- yeah, we aren't close enough to discuss that yet. Allison and Greg are both doctors at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Greg is the head of the diagnostics department and Allison works for him. If you have any questions, go ahead and ask…"

"Thank you Emily. You can sit down now"

After lunch, Emily sat down again. She had made two new friends.

"Shhh! We need complete silence for this mission" Emily pulled out a rat from her bag. "This is Minnie. Minnie, meet Kayla and Alex"

"Cool! She looks a lot like Michael!" Alex reached for the rat, but Emily pulled it away. She had learned earlier that Michael was Alex's rat.

"No touching! You'll spook her! Once she gets familiar with you, you can do anything you want with her" her friends gave her a look. "Well, not _anything_"

The girl held the rat gingerly and walked over to her teacher's desk. She opened a drawer and slipped the rodent inside. "Minnie, when Miss Cavanaugh opens the drawer, she'll scream. This is normal. If you can get to the ground, run to my desk. You know what my shoes look like, right?" the rat appeared to nod, shocking the two onlookers.

Allison worriedly entered the school around 3:30. She had been held up in the clinic, so she was late to pick up Emily. She found her way to the classroom, proud that she only had to ask for directions once. When she got there Emily- looking bored and annoyed- was sitting at a desk. The girl looked up and smiled.

"I'm so sorry I'm late! I was covering my husband's clinic hours" she rolled her eyes and muttered "again. I hope I don't make the wrong impression, Mrs… er…"

"Cavanaugh" the teacher responded

"Mrs. Cavanaugh. Usually I'm either early or right on time. It's great meeting you, really" she assured the teacher, grabbing Emily's arm gently "but I'm in a bit of a rush. You see, my husband called and one of our rats is missing and-" Emily tried to hold in her laughter. Mrs. Cavanaugh informed Allison coldly that she had found the rat… in her desk, and that Emily was supposed to stay for another fifteen minutes for putting the rat there.

"Emily! You got detention on the first day of school? Greg is not going to be happy…"

"You got a detention on your very first day?" His voice rung throughout the house. "What did you do?"

"I, uh, put Minnie in Mrs. Cavanaugh's desk. Are you mad?"

"Yeah!" he responded, and Allison heard this from the kitchen. The next part, however, she did not hear. "How could you get caught? You should have told her to run to someone else."

"Sorry- I didn't want to scare her. So you aren't mad about me putting her there?"

"I'm mad that you took her, and mad that you got caught, but I am proud that you put her there. You know, in fourth grade, I did the same thing. Except I trained my mouse- it was a mouse, not a rat- to run out the door instead. You are turning out to be a true House" His daughter hugged him and ran to the kitchen, acting terrified, to go see her mother.


	3. The Parental Unit

_A/N: Before you read anything, please note that I have _nothing_ against _my_ parents, or _my_ grandparents. They are great. It was just much more fun to write this... _

Ratlings 3

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The Parental Unit

Emily and Allison had decided to see a movie and go out for dinner. They justified leaving Gregory alone as 'girl time.' He didn't mind, though, because it meant he could do whatever he wanted for the entire night.

Just as he was sitting down- with a huge bowl of chips and a beer- to watch a General Hospital marathon, the phone rang.

"Damned phone" he grumbled, but answered anyways in case it was one of the girls with an emergency or something. "Who is it and what do you want?"

"Hello to you too" an unfamiliar woman's voice rang over the phone so loudly that Greg pulled the phone inches away from his ear. "Is Allison at home?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Her mother. Tell her she is coming to visit me on Friday, weather she likes it or not. She is bringing Emily."

"What is she doesn't-" The woman on the other end hung up before he could finish.

Because of this incident, the next time the phone rang, he decided just to screen

"Hi, Greg, it's Allison. Emily and I just got out of the movie, and now we're going to dinner, If Em behaves herself, we'll get ice cream afterwards. Don't expect us home until nearly ten. Love you, Bye" He could have picked up the phone, but all he would of said was 'okay,' and 'would you have married me otherwise?'. It was a routine goodbye that he didn't see the point in going through once again. Besides, he had more important things on his mind; like how he was going to explain to Allison why he had to be 'out of town' on Friday.

The girls arrived at home around 10:15, laughing as they came in the door.

"You're late." He greeted them, staring at his cane "Emily- wash your face" Emily mimicked him mockingly before heading to the bathroom to rinse the ice cream from around her mouth.

"Sorry, sweetheart. We were stuck in traffic" she lied

"There are two things wrong with that statement. One, you are a terrible liar, and two, you were walking. Why were you really late?"

"We just took a little longer then expected to eat and choose ice cream flavors. They have like three hundred now! Did you know that? Anyways, did anything interesting happen while we were gone?"

"Well I had this great dream. See there was this really great-looking woman, and-" she stopped him

"I don't want to hear about Carmen Elektra"

"Not Carmen, Cameron. Your mom called. Apparently you and Emily are going over there on Friday"

"You talked to her?" Allison demanded frantically.

"Of course! We're really close, you know. She's like a surrogate mom-"

"Oh shut up. You haven't even met her. Wait- you answered the phone for her and not me?"

"Wasn't she at the wedding?"

"No. She blew it off for a Days Of Our Lives marathon." She replied bitterly "Why didn't you answer when I-"

"I thought the crazy lady was calling again"

Allison, Greg, and Emily all stepped out of the car. Greg had argued that he could ride his bike there, and they could make a dramatic escape, but Allison would have none of it. Emily seemed to be the only one not completely stressed out. Allison took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock on the door. Hers, however, was not the hand that actually knocked. She looked down at Emily, who stared back with pursed lips at Allison.

"What?"

"Don't be a chicken. She's your mother; how bad can it be?"

"Bad" Allison whined, and the little girl rolled her eyes.

"Emily!" called an excited voice from the doorway

"Grandma!" Emily hugged her grandmother, who turned to Allison

"Hello, dear. Nice of you to finally visit. And who's this?"

"Greg is my husband" she answered sweetly, and in her mind added 'which you would know if you hadn't ditched my wedding'

"Oh. Hello George"

"Greg" Allison corrected

"Whatever"

"_Greg_ this is my mom, Sylvie"

"Nice to meet you" Greg lied

"That's nice. Emily, would you like some cocoa?" Emily nodded and Sylvie motioned for them to move to the living room and she went to the kitchen to start on the hot chocolate.

"That was interesting"

"We aren't really very close" Allison told her husband in a hushed voice

"Was she like this with… what's-his-name?"

"Alex, and no. She was like this after she found out about the cancer. She probably saw you with the cane and thought 'here we go again'"

"Hey! Don't blame the cane! That's not my fault" he whispered firmly

"Sorry"

"You don't sound sorry"

"I just have to- shoot! She's coming back. Hey mom"

Sylvie had a bowl of assorted candies on the coffee table across from the couch the House's were sitting on. When Emily reached out for a caramel, her grandmother slapped her hand away.

"Those are for decoration, dear, not company" Greg guessed that the candies in question were probably decades old and that Emily was probably much better off- medically speaking- without the caramel.

After nearly an hour, Sylvie suggested that Emily give 'Gray' a tour of the house. Allison stared at the candy bowl. She could have sworn it had moved, but she was tired, and figured it was just her eyes playing tricks on her. She glanced over at the stairs just as two heads ducked out of her line of sight. She continued staring at the candy bowl, mentally sorting them into groups, putting them back, and forming new groups. Then it moved again.

"What on earth?…"

"What is it Alley-cat?"

"Oh my God! You haven't called me that since I was like, seven, remember? Because I said it was a stupid nickname!"

"Sorry, Allison, but I'm not a computer- memories don't just stay with me forever, you know."

"The ones that make me look bad seem to" Allison muttered in response

"What's that, dear?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing."

"What is that?" Sylvie demanded, horrified.

"What?"

"That!" she pointed to the candy bowl, where a thick pink string was emerging from under the candies. No, Allison corrected herself, that is _not_ a pink string.

"Emily! Greg! We're leaving! Collect Jamie, will you?" Allison called -the irritated tone in her voice visible- to the rest of her family before standing and escorting her mother out of the room.

In the car on the way home, Greg and Emily seemed to be having a giggle fight. Allison found this amusing since she had never actually seen Greg giggle before. The two couldn't grasp the fact that she was mad at them. She had tried so hard to appear the perfect guardian of her mother's grandchild, then said grandchild had scared Sylvie half to death with a rat. She wasn't particularly happy with Greg either. She had brought him along on the condition that he behave the very best he could- and he had done extremely well; no sarcastic remarks, no physical damage was done.

"How can you be laughing?"

"Allison- I think the real question is how can you not be laughing? Jamie had fun, too"

"Greg- the point of that was to make a good impression. My mom hates rats, and now she probably hates me too"

"She's your mother. She isn't allowed to hate you"

"My mom is like you- she doesn't care for rules"

"Hey! Don't compare me to her. That's like me comparing you to Stacy"

"How is comparing you to my mom like comparing me to Stacy?"

"Well, you apparently don't like your mother, and I don't like Stacy"

"I hate Stacy. Never put my name and hers in the same sentence. No- never put our names in the same paragraph. Or better yet, the same conver-"

"Calm down. You're scaring me. Don't worry- everything is going to be okay… at least for awhile. Right Emily?" The girl nodded. "Right Jamie?" the rat nodded.

_A/N: I feel terrible! Such a long time for this update, and I wont be updating until around Christmas because of the whole school thing. The only reason I look forward to that season is because it is also House season lol. Anyways, please review. (If you have any suggestions for future 'adventures', please let me know- I'm running out of ideas!)_


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